The PencilPortraitArt’s Original Character contest comes to an end today.  Here are thumbnail versions of my two entries.  

And here is a link to my competition, http://portraitpencilart.deviantart.com/gallery/?set=24535837&offset=0. 

My entries are not winning entries because there are some that are technically more advanced and others that are probably of a more popular style.  That being said, I believe my second image (Jillian wearing antlers) in my opinion is in the top 10.  So, even though people laughed at that picture, I am still pleased overall, especially for the confidence to put my pictures in a silly contest.

The image that will probably win is definitely the most technically advanced in terms of pencil work, but not necessarily the most original *cough assassin’s creed cough*  But who am I to judge.  We are all influenced by something, and I’m happy to see that her character is actually a real character she is creating rather than just a drawing without reference like many of the others.  The one thing going against her is that this is a portrait contest, and well … the face of her character is barely visable.  But, she still has my bet if I were to guess the winner.

So, will I enter another contest in the future?  Sure, why not?  I had fun and the planning created a flow of ideas that I can use for other pictures. 

Some days I’m not sure why I bother.  I’ll just leave it at that.

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My grandma ended her radiation therapy earlier this week, so tonight the family is going to our favorite little pizza place to celebrate.  It will be a good time.  I just wish I was in a better mood and actually had the energy to want to go.  My stupid cat kept me up all night.

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I don’t know why I’ve been taking two steps forward and ten steps back.  No wonder I’m tired.

I’m having a productive sketching day, and it feels so good especially after having a few days of drawing crap.  Of course, at the moment my sketch probably looks a little perverted; a completely naked woman with a crown of antlers holding a dead rabbit by the ears would probably look questionable to anyone.  I hope my grandma doesn’t choose today to stop by the house.  Of course, the girl will have her clothes on as soon as I can figure out how to draw them.  For now, I’m just kind of happy with my attempt to draw some anatomy.  It doesn’t look too shabby, and I almost don’t want to draw the clothes.  Woo hoo for making some progress!  If I can pull off the idea that is in my head, this drawing will be my most ambitious drawing to date.  Unfortunately, there is a lot going on in the drawing, so pulling everything together may prove difficult.

Anyone want to be my playlist buddy?  If you’re bored, put together 5-10 songs that you recommend and I’ll do my best to find those songs and listen to them today as I sketch. 

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Random facts about me today:

*I went to barnes and nobles and couldn’t find any of the authors I was looking for. 

*I screwed up a drawing and had the ability to say that it was done.  I wasn’t going to try to work on it anymore.  I learned a lesson from my mistake and that is all I needed from the picture.  If I want to complete the idea, I will restart the picture, and I’m fine with that.  Why finish something that will only get worse?  That is kind of a milestone for me.

*I think I’m battling a little bout of depression.

*My nephew just called the house to let everyone know that he pooped in the toliet.  It’s the little things that matter around here.

I thought about you today.  I do every once in a while, like the time that celebrity overdosed and died and I wondered if that’s how you’d go.  I wondered how you got so lucky.  You must have 9 lives.  But, mostly I just think of you when I’m hurting, like today.  You give me something to be angry about, and you give me a place to put the blame.  I don’t really need you for anything else.

Maybe someday we can be more, but it doesn’t seem to be moving in that direction.  I think at this point only healing from God can change me. I’m sorry I can’t be your ideal daughter.  I just don’t fit into your narcissistic world where you rule supreme.  Don’t feel bad, it’s not just you.  I don’t fit in anywhere. 

I hope you enjoy your job, I hope you are sober, I hope you find God, I hope you don’t hurt my sister, and maybe one of these days before one of us dies our paths will cross.

Maybe the next rainy day will bring thoughts of you again, maybe I’ll say a little prayer for you.

I’ve been so discouraged lately, yet somehow I’ve managed to push those feelings to the side for the moment and actually offered to donate artwork to my job.  We are in the process of re-decorating, but because we are a non-profit organziation, our funds are very limited.  I offered to draw and donate some neutral but classy charcoal drawings if they had no plans for artwork.  I have no idea how I managed to do that despite being a shy, discouraged amateur, but I did.  Maybe I am slowly evolving.

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My friend just declared she would end our friendship (sarcastically of course) because I have not yet seen the new star trek movie.  Am I really that far behind in times? 

I’m sitting at the table drawing and I decided that I wanted to listen to something upbeat to get me through the drawing.  First thought was Lady Gaga.  I’m generally not a big fan of pop music (I’m picky), so even though I like what I’ve heard from her, I haven’t heard a lot.  But, I’m open to music, so I decided to try one of her songs I’ve haven’t heard before and now I can’t stop listening to Telephone.  Can’t … stop …. listening … can’t draw … only want to dance … can’t stop … …

Sorry for the reblog (my previous post).  I almost never reblog other people’s posts, but it really resonated with me. 

Now for the funny stuff.  My mom’s co-worker gave her this ridiculous owl to put in the backyard to scare off birds.  It’s huge and has no eyes.  Meet Mr. Owl:

Of course, it doesn’t scare the birds, but it does scare my cats.

And of course I couldn’t resist placing the owl right at the door to scare the cats. :)

I have a video too that I’ll post later.

I’m really discouraged.  Being laughed at clearly didn’t boost my self-esteem.  And, I’m even more mad at myself that I let them make me question why I even bother drawing.  I already know the answer to that question.  Heck, I just debated that issue with myself last week.  But, I guess their laughing just made me feel lonely and dumb, and those feelings aren’t easily pushed aside.  At least I got a good cry in.  I haven’t done that in a while.  I guess I have to wonder if I should be even more of a recluse when it comes to my art, or if I should just toughen up and say a loud “screw you” to those that laugh.  I have a feeling I’ll withdraw.  It’s just what I do.

On a good note, I decided not to scrap the image or pull it from the contest I entered.  I personally was happy with the image before I was laughed at, and so that is what I’m sticking with.  And I even applied some corrections after getting a critique from my online mentor.  So, maybe I won’t be as much of an art recluse as I think I’ll be.

I need to go take a very hot bath and read till I fall asleep.  I’ve got to prep for a stressful day tomorrow, and art is the last thing I need to worry about.

Some of my family members literally just laughed out loud at my most recent drawing. And not just a quick laugh, but a long drawn out one.  They just happened to see it sitting with my art stuff.  No wonder I always feel weird. :( That kind of hurt my feelings.  *hangs head low* Right when I feel good about something, I’m reminded about how stupid it seems to most people.

Unfortunately, this is the same drawing that I just entered into that contest, so I wonder how many other people are laughing. :( I feel so dumb.

My weekend finally begins.  I have more stories and things to share in this blog than I can keep straight, but I’m tired and my eyes hurt so I’m going to take my sketch pad, sit on the porch and draw as the sun sets.  Of course, I first have to get my fat cat’s butt off the sketch pad.  They just can’t resist a drawing, especially one that isn’t finished.  It’s like it’s in their DNA.  If they see a drawing, neurons start firing off in their brain signaling their butt to sit on top of it. 

I found this website called the dailymeme.com.  Now I should never be bored again while at work.  Here’s the first one I’ll do. 

Oh, this should be fun (I work at a pregnancy helpline). *puts on my little evil mask*  This little blog is about to become rated R.

1.  I’ve never seen someone trip and fall on a penis.  You don’t accidentally get pregnant.  You won’t believe the amount of people I talk to that just can’t understand how they got pregnant.  I’ll make it very simple.  Sperm + vagina = possible pregnancy.  End of story.  Actually, I do have to spell it out even more sometimes, but since talking about pre-ejaculate fluid, anal sex, oral sex, etc (I’ve heard it all), will take this blog past an R rating, I’ll just leave other details to your imagination.

2.  Consequences might bite you in the butt, so think and choose wisely before you rip off your pants.  Chances are you need to keep those pants on.  There is no shame in waiting.

I want to be a loving, compassionate, friendly person, but Lord help me, people annoy me.

I have to train today at work, and not one ounce of my being wants to.  I’m just not in the mood.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not in a bad mood.  There’s just so many other things I need and want to work on.  And, when I’m this annoyed this early in the morning, it can’t bode well for the sweet girl I have to train.  Lord, give me patience. 

I got to hang out with my girls last night, and it was fun.  It had been far too long since the last time we met.  I hadn’t seen Monica for almost three weeks and Annie for a month and a half.  Between the snow, busy schedules and me being sick, meetings just weren’t happening.  Considering those are the only friends I have an opportunity to hang out with, it was a much needed evening.